Only registred users can see all!

Freerolls, passwords, no deposit poker, casino, sportsbook bonuses

The best Rakeback Deal in Town

https://i.servimg.com/u/f70/14/06/17/19/new10.png10$ for Sign-Up at Poker Rebel,U.S. players accepted US OK:
 code: RPOK12
One sign-up code-6 rakeback deals:
Cake Poker
Colt Poker
Fugu Poker
Hi Life Poker
Euro Club Poker
Power Poker
200% First deposit bonus
Sign-Up code: RPOK12

Tell us on Google +

Romulus Poker home +1: Rakeback,promotions and poker bonuses
Livescore

Online support


    poker Jokes

    Share

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:44 am

    I was playing poker…with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:45 am

    What is the…difference between prayer in a church and at the poker table?
    At the poker table, you really mean it.

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:45 am

    A blonde woman…was on a girls’ weekend in Las Vegas. She stood in front of a candy machine, put in two quarters, turned the knob, and a candy bar fell out. She repeated the process, and again a candy bar fell out. Elated, she tried again as a man approached, saying, “Excuse me miss, what are you doing?”

    She said, “Hello! I’m winning here!”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:46 am

    A man comes home…from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”

    “Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”

    “How did you manage that, you fool?”

    “It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:47 am

    What is the…difference between a professional poker player and God?
    God doesn’t think He’s a professional poker player.

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:47 am

    Why didn’t the…elephant like to play poker in the jungle?
    Because there are too many cheetahs.

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:48 am

    The regular Friday night poker…game was still going strong after midnight. One of the players returned from the restroom, saying “Bill, I just saw your wife in the bedroom with Frank!”

    “OK, that’s it, guys. This is definitely the last hand.”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:48 am

    A doctor answers…his phone at home on a Friday night. His colleague says, “We need an eighth player for poker.” The doctor replied, “Hold on. I’ll be there ASAP.” As he was grabbing his coat and keys, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “It sure is,” he said. “There are already seven other doctors there!”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 19th February 2010, 10:49 am

    A man hears a voice…that tells him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. The next day he hears the same voice telling him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. On a third day, he hears the voice again; saying “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He finally obeys.

    Upon arriving in Las Vegas, the voice says, “Go to the Rio.” He does.

    At the Rio, the voice says, “Put your last $10,000 on a WSOP entry.” He does.

    The first hand of the tournament, the man is dealt A A. “Go all in,” commands the voice. He does and gets three callers. The flop is J T 9. “F*%$!” says the voice.
    avatar
    alfrenri
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 27
    Date of join : 2010-02-13
    Age : 46
    Location Location : coquimbo chile

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by alfrenri on 19th February 2010, 11:30 am

    They are two girls and one says to the other ...
    - My husband is an asshole, I wanted to sleep with the building owner because he lost the rent money playing poker
    - But you refused it? - Tells the friend -
    - I must admit that I did, but I'm worried, because they do not like telling my husband end up paying six months rent in advance
    avatar
    alfrenri
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 27
    Date of join : 2010-02-13
    Age : 46
    Location Location : coquimbo chile

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by alfrenri on 20th February 2010, 4:18 pm

    What is the difference between people who pray in a church and people praying in a casino? That the casino do with true devotion!....lol
    avatar
    alfrenri
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 27
    Date of join : 2010-02-13
    Age : 46
    Location Location : coquimbo chile

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by alfrenri on 25th February 2010, 7:42 am

    AK means Ana Kournikova, because she looks good, nice and exciting "but never wins" lol

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 25th February 2010, 10:12 am

    My Mom’s sister fell asleep during a poker game. I yelled “Auntie Up!”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 25th February 2010, 10:16 am

    A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

    “What was that for?” he asked.

    She shouted, “I overheard you talking to your poker buddies about how great Betty and Barbara were the other night!”

    The hubby chuckled as he explained the mix-up: “Two weeks ago I won a huge pot with pocket Queens. I called them Betty and Barbara!”

    “Oh honey, I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”

    Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.

    When he came back to he asked, “What in heavens name was that for?”

    She replied………..”Your pocket pair just called.”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 25th February 2010, 10:16 am

    While a man is playing poker, he sees the ghost of George Washington.

    “Washington,” he asks. “How can I win at poker?”

    Washington says, “You must never tell a lie.”

    The man thinks that is odd, because poker can be all about bluffing, but he follows through, folding on hands when he has nothing. Things don’t go well; in fact, he loses almost all of his chips.

    He then sees the ghost of Benjamin Franklin. “What should I do?” The man asked the ghost.

    Franklin says, “Be inventive.”

    So, the man changes tactics, bluffs on almost every hand, but still loses his shirt. With just one chip left, the man sees the ghost of Abraham Lincoln.

    “Abe, ol’ fellow, what should I do?”

    Lincoln answers, “Go see a play.”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 25th February 2010, 10:18 am

    A guy’s wife drives him over to a casino and tells him to call her when he wants her to pick him up.

    Feeling cocky, he sits down at a no limit holdem table with $1,000.

    After a couple hours, he’s lost almost half his bankroll. Desperately hoping to double up and walk away, he looks down at pocket Aces. He pushes in all his remaining chips, only to be called by a woman with pocket 8’s who hits a miracle set on the river.

    He walks right up to the lady who hit the trips and menacingly asks “Do you have any idea what my wife is gonna do to me when I call and tell her what just happened?”

    The woman replies: “no, but if she needs a few tips on how to kick your ______, tell her to give me a call.”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 25th February 2010, 10:20 am

    A professional poker player goes into the hospital for some routine tests. An older nurse walks in and they strike up a conversation about poker. While talking she lets him know that she has to shave him down below for the test, and that it is just part of the testing procedures. He agrees, so she starts shaving when she notices a tattoo that says the word ” R U S H ” in a interesting place.

    Later she tells her co-worker, a young attractive voluptuous brunette, about the tattoo. The younger nurse is a big fan of poker so she proceeds to explain what the word “RUSH” means in the poker world. After explaining the younger nurse decides that she wants to see this tattoo for herself. She enters the poker players room and tells him that she has some “follow up” work to do and that it will only take a second. She bends over with her voluptuous cleavage showing and fiddles around looking for the tattoo. Afterwards the younger nurse goes back to the older nurse and says, “I must have gone to the wrong room. The guy I saw was a poker player also, but his tattoo said

    ‘R O Y A L F L U S H’.”

    guessbym
    Developer
    Developer

    Message number : 26
    Date of join : 2010-02-19
    Location Location : PORTUGAL

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by guessbym on 25th February 2010, 10:22 am

    While playing poker in a local poker joint, George an avid player, noticed that in the last few days, one of the players had done extremely well. So well in fact that George felt compelled to approach the old man and ask him what his secret was. The old timer looked at him for a second then said “I’ll tell you, but when you play me you have to fold to me when every time I’m in the pot with you.”

    George thinks it over for a while, then reluctantly agrees.

    The man says “ first of all see John over there, he scratches his head whenever he is bluffing.”

    George says “oh.”

    The old man continues “See the man at the end of the table, that’s Jimmy, when he has an ace, his nose flares a little bit. Now, Jeff over there, he always looks down when he has a great hand.”

    George says ”wow, thank you.”

    They start playing and at the end of the night George is broke. He corners the old timer and exclaims “why did you tell me those lies, I lost all my money.”

    The old timer says “I’m sorry, your right I did tell you lies to get you to help me win.”

    George says “ well, what was your secret to success then.”

    The old timer replies “ I made the same deal with Jimmy, Jeff, and John that I did with you”.

    BrianJensen
    Moderator
    Moderator

    Message number : 101
    Date of join : 2009-07-05
    Age : 30
    Location Location : Faroese

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by BrianJensen on 30th March 2010, 6:26 am

    Laughing

    Sponsored content

    Re: poker Jokes

    Post by Sponsored content

      Similar topics

      -

      Current date/time is 12th December 2018, 3:11 pm